Stop the Crape Murder: A Fun Guide to Pruning Crape Myrtles Rig

Imagine, you're strolling through a Louisiana neighborhood, the sun is shining, and then—gasp—you spot it. A crape myrtle, hacked to bits, looking like it just survived a horror movie. This, my friends, is crape murder, and it’s sweeping the Southeast like a bad haircut trend. But fear not! We’re here to save these gorgeous trees with a little pruning know-how and a lot of fun.

The Crime Scene: What is Crape Murder?

Crape murder happens when gardeners “top” their crape myrtles—chopping off the tops to make them shorter. It’s like giving a majestic tree blunt bangs. Horticulturists in Baton Rouge and beyond have been battling this crime for years, but the chainsaws keep buzzing. The result? More trees are getting the wrong kind of trim than the right one. And while it won’t kill the tree outright, it’s like forcing it to live on fast food—weak wood, funky growth, and a sad decline over time.

Why Does This Happen?

Usually, it’s a case of “wrong tree, wrong place.” If your crape myrtle is towering over your garden like a skyscraper, you might have picked a variety that’s too big for the spot. When choosing a crape myrtle, think about its mature size (not just its pretty flowers). There’s a perfect crape myrtle for every yard, from pint-sized cuties to towering giants.

Pruning Like a Pro: The Do’s and Don’ts

Forget the chop-and-drop approach. Pruning crape myrtles is like giving them a stylish haircut—think precision, not a buzz cut. Here’s how to do it right:

• Thin, don’t top. Remove branches that rub, cross, or compete for space. Keep the tree’s natural shape in mind.

• Say goodbye to suckers and watersprouts. Those pesky shoots at the base or wild, upright growth in the canopy? Snip ’em!

• Timing is everything. Late fall to late winter is prime pruning season—when the tree is snoozing for the winter.

• Make clean cuts. Trace a branch back to where it starts and cut flush against the trunk or parent branch. No nubs allowed! Leave a stub, and you’ll get a hydra-like sprout of new branches.

The Perks of Proper Pruning

When you prune with love, your crape myrtle will thank you with:

• Sturdy wood that stands up to storms

• Bigger, bolder flowers that steal the show

• More pollinators buzzing around 

• Gorgeous bark that adds winter wow

• Fewer suckers and watersprouts to wrestle

• Happy birds nesting in a healthy canopy

• Less fungal decay, insects, and sooty mold

• Better airflow for a breezy, disease-free tree

Be a Crape Myrtle Hero

Sure, you can prune your trees however you want (freedom, right?). But why not give your crape myrtles the VIP treatment they deserve? Properly pruned, these trees grow into stunning, low-maintenance showstoppers that make your yard the envy of the block.

So, grab your pruning shears, rally your neighbors, and spread the word: no more crape murder! Let’s let these beauties grow tall, proud, and flower-filled. Your garden—and the birds, bees, and butterflies—will thank you.